- Drinking: McDonald’s McCafe. My saving place of wifi while my house connection continues to be on the fritz. It’s what happens when you live in a town without Starbucks.
- Listening to: Currently? Their delightful mixtape, which includes, much to my surprise, the great She & Him & Zee Avi! But on my own time, it’s been Mumford & Sons, hands down.
- Wearing: Black denim & a frankie-inspired tee. The closest I could come to appropriate softball attire, which constitutes the main social event in this funny little place.
Hello, cheri. This post has been a long time coming. I blame that mostly on the less-than-top-notch wireless connection here in my home, and only partially upon my own lack of self-discipline.
As previously mentioned, these short opening weeks of my summertime life have shattered more than one presupposition I had been holding onto—about myself, my life here, about other people.
What I haven’t mentioned yet is the fantasy I’d loftily plotted out about how my soul would adapt to this new place of being. Along with the dream sequence featuring me and my dear candy-apple bike gliding across the near-empty streets to collect fresh flowers and used books, in the months, weeks & days leading up to my time spent here I’d decided that an absolutely new place, with no previous acquaintances or obligations (8-5 excluded) would yield at least one good thing: a sonic boom to my spiritual life, an increasingly intimate relationship with my Savior & knowledge of His being.
Reality didn’t feel like playing along.
These first weeks, I’ve been drowning. I could only see life through the distortions of the water—ripple shaped and a little bit green. And the current was tying me in knots. Which way is up again?
Though I know He was always reaching toward the waves, I couldn’t summon the strength to do my part. That’s when He reminded me I don’t always have to—sometimes I can’t at all. God showed me His face in an orange-sherbet sky. Without question, it was the most beautiful sunset of my life. In front of me, heaven, & above my head, lightning defied the daylight and darted across the sky. I’ve never seen anything like it. The next day, the sun set a brightest sort of gold-tinged blue. And the next, it sank, blindingly pink & bobbing in an ocean-blue sky. I could have sworn I was closer to The Savannah than Savannah Georgia.
I’d like to say I felt a bit of what Noah must have been completely smothered in upon seeing his rainbow sky—joy, relief, perhaps a little bit of a better understanding of Him who can do all things, yet loves us so.
All these things, along with a few notes of the utmost encouragement from truly God-sent saints in my life, have brought me out from the waters, at least for this time. Praise God that He cares for my mustard seed spirit.
Psalm 37: 5-6
Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust in Him, & He will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as light,
And your justice as the noonday.